It's now 1.15 am and I still can't sleep. I haven't been sleeping well for days now. When I lay down to try to go to sleep, I find myself constantly worrying and thinking about things. I am exhausted, but no matter what I do I can't fall asleep..
Today I tried listening to my ipod to stop my mind to wander, but it's not working. It feels like my body is relaxed but my brain is keeping me awake.
I usually don't have this problem. Ask anyone and they will tell you I can sleep for days if I want to. I don't know how to deal with this. So here I am, just trying to do something to exhaust my mind further so that I can sleep. I have work all day tomorrow, an exam on Thursday and an assigment due on Friday.
I know I have a lot on my mind. But really all I want to do is stop thinking about them and just sleep.
Does anyone else feel this way or have you felt this way in the past? And if so how did you fix this?
Another recipe for our Masterchef recipe collection...
Serves: 4
Preparation: 15 mins
Cooking: 15 mins
1kg chat potatoes, quartered
1/4 cup finely chopped flat-leaf parsley
210g (3 cups) fresh breadcrumbs
2 tbs lemon zest, plus lemon wedges, to serve
2 cloves garlic, crushed
50g (1/2 cup) plain flour
1 egg, lightly beaten
4 x 150g pork leg steaks
vegetable oil, to shallow fry
Fennel Slaw
1 small fennel, thinly sliced
2 carrots, grated
75g (1/4 cup) Mayonnaise
Cook potatoes in a large saucepan of boiling salted water until tender. Drain, toss with 1 tbs parsley and keep warm.
To make fennel slaw, combine all ingredients in a bowl.
Combine breadcrumbs, lemon zest, remaining parsley and garlic in a shallow bowl and season with salt and pepper. Place flour and egg in separate shallow bowls. Dust pork with flour, shake of excess then dip in egg and coat in the breadcrumb mixture.
Heat 1cm oil in a large frying pan over medium heat and cook pork, in 2 batches for 2 minutes each side or until golden and cooked through. Drain on paper towel.
Serve schnitzel with fennel slaw, potatoes and lemon wedges.
I’m not very good at taking a break from blogging. It seems as if it has become part of my life, part of who I am, for better or for worse. I like sharing my life and my thoughts. It’s something that I enjoy doing, even when people don’t understand what I’m trying to say all the time or think that they know more than I do.
Sometimes people don’t understand or know the full picture and they can only comment on what they see. Sometimes that limited picture is skewed by their own perspective which might be different than mine. I understand that people have different ideas about life than I do – and that’s okay. It matters to me that I know I’m doing well and taking steps to better my life, whatever that means. I will try not to take things personally from people who don’t know me personally. It’s another evolution in my life as a person and as a blogger. I think it will be a good thing. What matters to me now is that I know what I’m doing. It matters to me that I know I’m doing well and taking steps to better my life. I think its important to put our best foot forward and make the most of what we have.
To marinate the chicken, place in a large bowl and squeeze over the juice of half a lemon. Add 1 tbs oil, rosemary and garlic to the bowl, and toass to coat the chicken.
To make dressing, squeeze juice from remaining lemon half into a small bowl. Add mustard, honey and remaining 60ml (1/4 cup) oil. Whisk to combine. Season with salt and pepper.
Bring a saucepan of water to the boil. Gently add eggs and stir until water returns to the boil. Cook for 4 1/2 minutes for soft boiled-eggs. Drain and refresh under cold water.
Preheat a chargrill pan over high heat, then cook chicken, in 2 batches, for 1 minute each side or until cooked through. Transfer to a large bowl.
Add spinach and dressing to the bowl and toss to combine. Divide salad among bowls.
To gently crack egg shells, roll eggs on a counter. Peel shells, then carefully tear eggs in half and divide among salads. Scatter with toasted bread cubes and serve.
Besides managing Knutsson Consulting, I also work in a Financial Services company. The culture of the firm has been a very unhappy one in the last couple of months. Many employees like myself felt like we are stuck in a rut - confused, frustrated and most of all unhappy.
Yesterday, our Operations Manager (also a very close friend of mine) was asked to leave. All of us I believe are still shaken up over the whole fiesco. For weeks, I haven't been sleeping well, tossing and turning - trying to understand or rationalise my way through this unhappy episode.
I boiled the reasons down to the different type of behaviors and personalities we all have. And perhaps sometimes it is just impossible for the different group of people to work with one another no matter how they try.
But what happens if we all try to understand the different type of personalities and learn how to work around them. Perhaps then we can all work in peace and harmony (or am I just being naive?).
Today I spent some time on the net researching about human behaviors, trying to understand what really makes people tick. I came across a few great articles which explained and described these rules. And the rules are:
Rule One: People Mostly Care About Themselves
People aren’t thinking about you. A damaging myth to buy into is believing the amount of time you think of yourself compares to the amount of time others think of you. In reality they are nowhere close. Take a look at this chart which I found on the net (It is too bad I did not save the url for this site).
Have a look at the different slices of this chart. The biggest slice is apparently the time you spend thinking about yourself. The second is the time spent thinking about relationships, but how they affect you. What does John think of me? Will my boss give me a raise or fire me? Do my friends respect me or just tolerate me?
Only a tiny sliver is devoted to empathy. Empathy is the rare occasion where you think through the perspective of another person. This means that you occupy only a tiny percentage of a persons thoughts. Waiting for people to invite you, becoming embarrassed at something really stupid or emphasizing what others think of you come from failing to use this rule. Almost all people are far too self-absorbed to notice.
Rule Two: People are Motivated by Selfish Altruism
To say all behavior is strictly selfish would be misleading. It fails to account for acts of charity, ethics and why people don’t just cheat, swindle and lie all the time. Selfish altruism is a broader category that covers why people do nice things as a way to get what they want.
Viewing people as completely uncaring or selfish is incomplete. But expecting people to think of you constantly and do nice things for free is stupid.
Rule Three: People Don’t Think Much
I believe we drastically overestimate what we do intentionally. If someone asks you to be unbiased in making a decision, it is probably best to just laugh. The implication of this is that appealing entirely to thoughts won’t work. Since a bulk of decision making is made in the background, you need to target that background if you want to be influential. You don’t need to be manipulative, just smart enough to recognize that snap judgments mean a lot and your communication is more than just words.
Rule Four: Conformity is the Norm
You become your environment. Uniqueness and individuality tend to warp to fit the people around you. This is true of other people as it is for yourself. It means you should be careful who you pick as friends, partners and colleagues.
This is why I believe it is important to keep a varied social group. When you interact with people from completely different backgrounds, beliefs and behaviors on a regular basis you are more likely to see different perspectives. This also means you have more control in picking who you want to be.
Is suffering important for you to get some sort of enlightment? What do you think?
I don't like the idea of suffering, but I have known suffering. And I believe everyone have varying degrees of suffering and its possible to overcome suffering.
Most of us come into the world whole, but in darkened awareness of our wholeness we quickly grow an ego that wants all kinds of things to fill those "empty" holes. We are born into a body that rises and falls, lives and dies. Our body is corruptible and will go through a dying process that involves suffering for many people. To deny that for ourself and especially as a judgment for others to loose our compassion.
But having said that, I deeply believe it is possible to rise above suffering, for I have (or at least am trying) to overcome it. I discussed this with my father just a couple of hours ago and he made me realise that there comes a place as we loose the attachment for the physical as being our identity. We are able to shift our identity to a truer space and suffering turns into a pain that can be more easily released.
Based on my 1 year experience in being a pet owner, I realise that animals do suffer emotional pain. But I guess unlike us humans, they do not contract and hold on to the pain. Most of our suffering comes from holding on to pain and turning it into some kind of badge or identity. Ugh..turning into a psychosis fixation. And that can be really maddening.
For me the process of becoming has lead to the transcending of attachment to suffering. For years I must have danced back and forth with pain and pleasure. Me not me. Good and bad. All the dualities which clutch and pull one into wanting something other than how it is. When I was not accepting "what is" and thinking something out there could fill it or something that did not occur was the cause...that turned to suffering.
But there comes a time where we have to take responsibility and rather than projecting something which is unfinished or unacknowledged out there as the cause of our suffering we learn to contain it. At that place of containing something miraculous can occur instead of identifying with the yin/yang of suffering attachment/rejection, we can identify the circle that contains everything within. At that place suffering dissolves and something else occurs; because we have learned to embrace all within, we find we can honor others and allow them to be as they are without judgement or contraction.
My father said that our past is our teacher. We must be wise in order to put an end on suffering, when it's needed. We decide when it's the "right" moment to do so. So yes, I hate the idea of suffering but I believe that it is necessary in the process of knowing onself, knowing who we really are and not who we choose to be. And if we bear the pain till the end, the reward is mental freedom..peace of mind.
Today I am choosing to lay aside the "suffering" and try to focus on the goodness in my life.
It's funny how the smallest things can be the biggest reminders. When Mikey was still with us, I went and bought the most comfortable pair of ugg boots. I remember thinking, "This is going to be great, not only will my feet be warm all winter, I don't have to step all over Mikey's continuous shedding problem". After I lost Mikey, that is all I think about. Honestly I didn't think twice when I brought home my ugg boots that day but now every time I use it, that's all I think about. It felt like every time I use my ugg boots, I was losing a little more of that memory. A little more of that feeling. Ridiculous I know.
I have been surprised over the last few weeks how the little things remind of my baby. Just a few hours ago, my best friend shared some great news with me and I was beaming with joy and excitement for her. I felt a sense of rush and had an urge to drive across the state just to give her a hug and to share her happiness. But I couldn't bear not to think about Mikey and the joy he once brought to me and to John.
Last weekend, John asked if he should remove Mikey's house since it was Council collection time again. Of course that is the rationale thing to do, we won't have any use for it again. But again I couldn't bear to throw his house away either. For some reason, Mikey's run down house provides me with a sense of hope, reminds of being Mikey's mummy. Reminds me of being happy.
That doesn't mean I'm not happy now, because I am. I am so blessed to have the people in my life that I have. But, I'm not the same happy person I was back then. It's a different sort of happy. Right now, I'm "grateful happy". I guess before I was "innocent happy" haha. OK, let me clarify..in my books, innocent happy is when you are blissfully unaware of how cruel life can be. Grateful happy I guess is when we know how lucky we are to have what we have because it can all be gone in a second.
So I am grateful. I am grateful for everything I have. I am grateful to have a wonderful, loving, sexy husband who loves me for who I am. I am grateful for Larry who never stop believing in me. I am grateful for a great job which is providing me with an excellent career path. I am grateful for my mom who will never stop loving me. I am grateful for this 500sq meter property I call home. I am grateful for all the wonderful friends I have.
I am grateful. But sometimes wish to have my innocence back.
Derek is happily married to his wife, Sharon, with a son, Kyle. However, when a new temp, Lisa begins to flirt with him. Lisa becomes obsessed and begins to manipulate Derek and Sharon's relationship, eventually becoming violent. Lisa fakes a suicide in Derek's hotel room while he is on a business trip. Meanwhile, Detective Reese interrogates Lisa, who lies about her relationship with Derek. While Derek and Sharon are out, Lisa goes to their home and convinces the babysitter to let her in, eventually escaping with Kyle while the babysitter is distracted. Derek goes to the car, intending to pursue Lisa, and finds Kyle in the backseat with lipstick from Lisa on his forehead. They set up a home alarm system, but at this point nothing is going to stop Lisa from getting what she wants.
Ali Larter is the "temp", Lisa, who seems almost other-worldly efficient. Right away she decides she will get Derek for herself, even though he assures her that he is happily married, he loves his wife, there is no chance that he and Lisa will ever be anything more than two people working in the same office.
And, as we witness, every time she makes unwelcome and inappropriate advances he rebuffs them, but his fatal mistake is not (1) telling his wife about them and (2) doing something at work right away to quell this. So, the advances get more aggressive and stranger, and Derek becomes more perplexed about what to do.
In the big business workplace if a "temp" acts strangely at all, you get rid of them quickly and easily. That's the advantage of hiring a "temp", you have no obligation if they don't work out. The story presented here requires that very strange behavior be overlooked the next day, in the hopes "it will all go away." Well it doesn't all simply go away, and there we have the movie.
I didn't get her motive or history on why she might possibly be obsessed with this man. Idris Elba who plays the husband, Derek, is completely whipped. Now granted I know they were trying to make him into a nice husband, but did they go far or what? This man sent flowers to his wife every week, isn't allowed to go to a basketball game with a friend, is not allowed to have female assistants, pretty much hide in the corner at the company Christmas party so his wife won't jump on him at home. Beyonce Knowles, who plays his wife, Sharon, I had no sympathy for her character what-so-ever. This woman has major jealousy issues and we never know why, she mentions that he once was a player up till he met her, but it's never indicated that he ever cheated on her, so why in the heck is she so incredibly jealous? Also when she finds out that Lisa attempted suicide in Derek's bed, she won't even hear his side of the story, not only that, the house he paid for, she throws him out for THREE MONTHS! God, I want know what happens to him if he doesn't do the dishes, does he have to sleep in the back yard?
This woman, ladies and gentlemen, is a COLLEGE STUDENT. I have trouble relating to a man who would suffer so much ridiculous punishment at the hands of an insecure and violently suspicious woman, and still beg on his hands and knees for her to take him back.
Unlike a lot of these erotic thrillers, the male character never gives in to temptation. Derek is only guilty of not disclosing Lisa's harassing behavior, because the first several times things happen, he thinks it's over and doesn't need to make an issue out of it. He is a successful, intelligent, good-looking man who loves his wife, but has his life turned upside down because he holds a few things back.
Whilst the plot is certainly unoriginal, it still entertains...and I don't know about anyone else, but I watch movies to be entertained - regardless of whether they are original or not. I did like the fact that in Obsessed, they didn't need sex scenes to make Lisa obsessed with Derek.
There are a lot of negative reviews of this movie, and I have to ask: why the hell did you watch it? It is EXACTLY what it seemed it would be based on the previews. A girl becomes sexually obsessed with her boss and stalks his family. Nothing more to it.
I've seen a few people comment on the race factor -- hmm, I didn't think race played a huge factor at all. If you think so, I think you need to reexamine why you're so sensitive to the idea of a black man being in the lead role and being stalked by a white woman rather than a white man. Would you have the same negative reaction? Probably not. Get over it.
Yes we have decided to get ourselves a pool. It seems like a no brainer – who wouldn’t want a pool? Planning, building and even maintaining a pool is not a whim. It’s a major addition to our house. A new pool dramatically alters the landscape of your outdoor living space – a lifestyle change. And that’s what we are after. A positive change.
I am doing my homework this time. I am making sure all the ground work is covered and that financially we can afford a pool. I know we can find something within our budget, but the range of “what you get for the money” is a wide one. I need to be sure that I consider all the expenses involved with getting a new pool before I start signing the dotted line.
We understand that building a pool is a major investment that always costs more than anticipated. But we are ready to take the plunge!
There’s of course the building/installation of the pool, the actual pool price, excavation, plumbing and electricity, council fee, fencing, insurance/liability, etc.
Then there’s the maintenance of the pool. Yah, you know the heaters, chlorine, bromine, pumps, pool vacuums, test kits, blab la bla – the chores are endless. Really it’s not just the cost that is an issue, yep..it’s the maintenance. Of course easy way out is to hire a monthly/quarterly pool maintenance service to do the dirty work for us.
We will be going away for 6 weeks in September travelling across Europe, Hong Kong and Tokyo. So we believe that the best time to start constructing the pool is in October/November when we get back. Knowing a fiberglass pool only takes 2-4 weeks to construct, we can have our pool all ready to go before summer. Aint that exciting?
So now we are in the market to sign up with a reputable, reliable pool builder. So of course we are going to get a few quotes... silly not to. We have met 3 builders so far and are meeting a few more this week.
Today we met with a “Marketing Manager - Andrew the Jack Ass” from Blue Haven. I spoke to him on the phone two weeks ago explaining what we are after and he made an appointment to come over today for a site inspection. His opening line was “OK, I’m going to give you a pool”.. seriously is this jack ass for real? As a marketer, I work with sales people all the time and honestly that is the dumbest sales pitch I’ve heard- “I’m going to give you a pool”..really??
So anyway I am sure most of you have heard of Blue Haven Pools. Apparently they are the biggest in the business, owning 32 other companies our friend Andrew the Jack Ass so willingly shared with us. 5 minutes down our meeting, he continued blabbering on and on about how experienced, reputable, dependable and long-standing the company is. Ok so I am happy for that dude who is so fortunate to be working for such an impressive organisation. And that was one of the reasons I called them, because of how well known they are.
Little did I know about the pool industry and after speaking to a few builders and doing more research on them, I found out that Blue Haven licenses its brand name to pool contractors without even requiring them to construct pools to minimum standards.
So Mr. Jack Ass continued blabbering on. He gave us a crazy insane price for the construction of the pool, council drawing and approval, dirt excavation, fencing and paving..all for $29,000. Yes, that’s right - $29,000. So perhaps this Jack Ass wasn’t joking about giving pools away. I was blown away and little excited mind you. But the excitement quickly turned into frustration when Jack Ass insisted that we sign the order right then. We explained that we needed some time to think this through, regardless of how much he was offering us, it was still a large sum of money and we needed to be sure before signing the dotted line.
That wasn’t good enough for Mr. Jack Ass. He was rude, arrogant, forceful and unprofessional. He said that the $29,000 is not a quote, it’s a business deal. If we are not prepared to take the deal then well we can’t buy his pool. I could feel my temperature rising and so as my voice. I thought he must be mad, I tried calming myself down and repeated myself again and again telling him that we are not comfortable signing anything today and besides we are still meeting other pool builders this week. John was great, he was calm and confident and that made me feel at ease.
Of course Jack Ass didn’t stop forcing us to sign, he looked annoyed as if we wasted his time and kept on repeating that he is the cheapest in town and does not understand why we can’t just sign the order. He was really getting on my nerves.
In my hindsight he probably did me a huge favour. If this is an example of Blue Haven’s customer service, I will happily take my business elsewhere.
I told my best friend, Iris last week that I was staring at a blank wall. She thought it was great.
Just a couple of weeks ago, whenever I have a few minutes to spare to just sit and gather my thoughts, I always think what I’m about to do (the chores that I need to do, my backyard, my studies..etc), I also think about things I have left behind (my career, my retirement plan, etc..), what I did wrong in the past and what I’m about to do in the future so hopefully I don’t make the same mistake.
When I woke up this morning I decided against on running out in the sun to do some gardening and instead I spent half an hour just staring at a blank wall. I remember I was trying to think about songs, then about the name of the artist and at the same time I was thinking about how great it would be to have a pool in my backyard and how it will increase my property value. Then I started thinking about how much I really wanted the Senior Project Manager position at MLC and how devastated I would be if I didn’t get the job. After that, I started thinking about useless things and then felt like having a chai latte. But then I have another 6 minutes to go. So these 6 minutes took an eternity so I tried to make time run faster. This is when I got distracted and start thinking about well.. nothing. Then, all of a sudden, I realise that 15 minutes of my life have just passed – doing and thinking absolutely nothing.
For me staring at a blank wall is taking time to come in relation with myself to clearly identify what is living in me. By silence, by stopping my rational mind, I give the opportunity to my inner potential, the spiritual forces to help me uncover what is covered, to help me understand what is really happening, to make me make links, to invite the unconscious to manifest itself, let it come, not trying to analyse but for my rational just to grasp the thoughts.
Meditation is actually quite interesting. If you do that every day for only 5 minutes, if you relax and try to calm yourself down by staring at a blank wall, a candle (as my dad would probably suggest) or even a tree (which Iris suggested) and just relax and say to yourself “I can spend 5 minutes of my life in silence” – then you will see how things will improve (I HOPE!). But I really believe that when your unconscious mind goes to your conscious mind somehow you will start having intuitions that once were buried and now you can see.
So: stare to a blank wall and share here what you see.
“I Love You Phillip Morris” is a gay romantic comedy apparently based on a true story (!!!) and a book by Steve McVicker. This movie is written and directed by Glenn Ficarra and John Requa who also wrote the bad ass movie “Bad Santa”. These writers obviously are not afraid to take a chance of offending people.
Jim Carrey plays Steven Russell, whom we first see as a child lying on his back staring at clouds with his friends. We later discover that he sees quite different things in the shapes than most children do, but his parents call him in and tell him, in a scene that’s both painful and funny, that he’s adopted.
He resolves that he will not let this faze him, but will go all out for society’s approval, so he resolves to be the best person he can be, at least in society’s eyes. He gets a job as a policeman, becomes a church organist, marries Debbie (Leslie Mann), has two children and then searches though police records to find his real mother.
After a disappointing meeting with her, he gets involved in a car crash. He resolves that life is too short for denying who you are, and decides to come out as a gay man. He leaves his wife and children and moves to Florida with a flamboyant boyfriend Jimmy. The two of them like living the high-end gay life, but soon found out that all that shopping and accessorizing comes at a cost. “Being gay is really expensive” Steven says, and deciding that the ends justified the means, starts pulling off personal injury scams and living off fake ID cards.
Well, those activities put him in prison, where he meets the man who is to become the new love of his life, the Phillip Morris of the title, played by Ewan Macgregor. Steven has already figured out his way around the prison system and has also spent a lot of time in the prison library studying law, so he’s able to be a teacher to the soft-spoken and sensitive Phillip.
Steven manages to arrange things so they can share a cell together, which seems an ideal situation and lasts until he pulls one too many strings. He is sent to another facility, from which he manages to get released quickly. He pretends to be a lawyer to get Phillip released too. And they set up a home, with Steven as the breadwinner.
To do this he establishes a new identity to bluff his way into another top level job as a Chief Financial Officer. Inevitably he is going to end up in prison again.
Arrested for a string of felonies, with a specialty in fraud, his real expertise turned out to be his uncanny ability to escape from jail. Using whatever unlikely materials were at hand—a Magic Marker, a pay phone, a walkie-talkie, a pair of stolen bright red women's stretch pants—along with an innate talent for analytical thinking and boundless quantities of sheer nerve, Russell again and again arranged his own "early releases" from jail. Unfortunately, for Russell, staying out of jail is another matter entirely.
Over the years, it became increasingly clear that Russell's talent for escape is matched only by his knack for getting arrested. One thing always seems to trump Steven Russell's careful planning, cool head, and instinct for self-preservation—love. Russell cannot resist the urge to try and spring the great love of his life—Phillip Morris.
Jim Carrey has always been an actor who knows how to use his physicality to good effect. Here his coming out is attended not only by one of the most explicit gay sex scenes in a mainstream movie for a long time, but also by an entire change in posture and body language. He is flamboyant, and happy to be so.
These are two men in love, and it has to be said that neither actor is shy about playing that part of the story fearlessly. For that reason “I love you Phillip Morris” is not for the homophobic or those unsure of their own sexuality. If you approach it openly, “I love you Philip Morris” is funny, tender, and dark by turns.
I am not even sure where this idea originated exactly, but its the desire for me to spend the whole month of June exercising and eating right so that I’d feel and look better by August before my parents arrive and before our Europe tour!
Since the original idea is to make me feel good about my body, I also realise that there are other related things I need to work on in relation to sexiness. I mean, I’m quite comfortable with my body, but I don’t usually feel sexy. So here are a few of the things I want to accomplish over the next month.
Operation Sexification Points and Goals Exercise: I want to lose more weight this month. Just today I was looking in the mirror at my body and realised my tummy seems flatter compared to a couple of days ago. I mean its flat..but I need it to be flatter. I know the more my body changes the sexier I will feel and this whole project will become a success! Sadly I’ve decided not to join the gym since I have a work out machine at home, its just a matter of using it.
Eating Right:The main goal of Operation Sexification is still eating right. I started my protein diet program about two days ago and honestly have seen a slight improvement. I think protein suits me. Every time I start eating more meat I lose more weight. And every time I stop eating “sugar” my skin feels clearer and looks brighter. And that’s it! Those are the things I want to work on this month. :)
This is a personal little mission of mine, but I’d be more than happy if anyone wants to join me for their own version of Operation Sexification. I figure we could all add a little more sexiness to our lives! Pick a few things you want to change or learn about or do and then do them this month!
As soon as I found this recipe I knew I had to make them. I just started going on a protein diet and what better time to try this out!
prep: 10 mins
cook: 25 mins
serves: 8
2 tbs Olive Oil
2 cloves garlic, sliced
1 tsp dried oregano leaves
finely grated rind and juice of 1 lemon
400g fetta
2 tomatoes, thickly sliced
1/2 small red onion, thinly sliced
1/4 cup chopped green olives
1. Preheat oven to 200C. Combine oil, garlic, oregano and lemon rind in a small bowl and season with black pepper. Greate a 2-cup baking dish with a little of the oil mixture.
2. Slice fetta in half through the centre. Layer into dish with tomatoes, onions and olives. Pour over oil mixture.
3. Bake for 20-25 mins or until tomatoes have softened and fetta is heated through. Drizzle with lemon juice. You can serve with crusty bread as a side dish or appetiser.
Everyone has a turning point, a moment where everything can change for better or for worse.
I feel currently I am having one of those moments. I feel I am at a crossroad and I can’t explain why or where. My soul and the world are telling me something is not right, only time will tell. I am trying to listen to it and hopefully it will reveal itself.
I have started to see what's important for ME in this life. I now find happiness and joy in little things in everyday life. Things I took for granted before are now more appreciated (i.e my husband). I have found peace with myself, and can see what I need to give preference to.
I believe that my higher power has given me a second chance. I am in a place of completion, and willing to do the work needed to complete what I start.
I have accepted that we live and we die, and what matters is what we do in between.
Dear Mike,
It seems like just yesterday you were here. I still think of you everyday. Although I will miss you for as long as I live, I am at peace that things happened as they were supposed to. I truly believe that everything happens for a reason.
Its been three weeks. Three weeks ago we gave you away and it hasn’t stop raining. As I was telling aunty Iris earlier..you took the sun away with you.
I worked from home today, first time in three weeks. I always looked forward working from home knowing that you would be there with me. I remember the last time I did, you slept on my lap for hours and it was impossible to work but I didn't care. You looked just so peaceful then.
It’s not the same working from home anymore. There’s emptiness in the house without you. It’s so cold and lonely.
Your daddy and I talk about you all the time. You are so loved. Please always remember that. I sometimes get so angry at myself for deciding to give you away. But then I remind myself that you are in a better place. . a place where you are never alone with family and friends, and you are happy. For that I am grateful.
I am thinking of getting your name tattooed on my foot. If I do, for the rest of my life you will walk with me. You will be with me forever.
Although things didn’t turn out like I thought they would, I would never take it back. I cherish all the time we spent together (I miss you pawing me, playing fetch, playing hide and seek and most of all I miss you following me wherever I go).
Bella Swan (Stewart) and Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) graduated from high school and are as happy as any lovely dovey couple could be, at least until Bella attends a birthday party at the Cullen home and nicks herself. The sight of blood leads the Cullens to a startling realisation: They're a vampire (duh?) which is easy to forget when you've only been a vampire since the First World War.
Edward saves Bella from becoming minced meat and New Moon lumbers on. It is only now, at this moment, that Edward realises their relationship is doomed. He dumps Bella in the middle of the forest and like a true gentleman, he skips town with his family. How does Bella handle all this? The only way she knows how: By being a borderline-psychotic unlikable little shit. She locks herself in her room for months, sends daily e-mails to the Cullens (none of which they receive, let alone answer) and starts suffering from night terrors. Common for most girls going through breakups, right? Things seem bleak for Bella and it almost seems like she's about to off herself in a final act of mercy (for the audience, mind you).
Enters Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner), Bella's childhood pal. After learning she has an appetite for thrills during a bafflingly unnecessary sequence in which she rides with some stranger on the back of a motorcycle, Bella buys a pair of worn-down motorbikes and asks Jacob to repair them for her. A budding-romance montage ensues as we watch these two grow closer, and why wouldn't Bella want Jacob? He's got all sorts of positive qualities that Edward lacked, such as well...a pulse.
Things seem to be going fine for the new couple until -- uh-oh! -- Jacob reveals his Dark Secret: He's a werewolf! This turns out to be something of a put-off for Bella -- after all, it's not like she's dated movie monsters before! So what if Jacob turns all violent and moody every 28 days? That's just one more thing he and Bella would have in common (hey!, am I right or am I right?). To make matters worse, Edward still finds his way into the film despite his not actually physically being there. Whenever Bella is about to do something idiotic -- in other words, every five seconds -- Edward appears as her spirit guide. Hmm..
My opinion of the end was different. I loved the ending. The relationship between Bella and Jacob was portrayed so amazingly. Kristen and Taylor really did a fantastic job. And I'm definitely going to have to say Taylor gets my applause. He can really act I loved everything about him and OMG his body "oh dear lord"!
Anyway, here’s to the next Twilight saga – The Eclipse.!
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