You
hear it so often – Life is a great adventure, full of complexity and a
multitude of paths from which to choose. But it can sometime be overwhelming.
I
think a time comes to all of us when we wonder what life is all about.
Something usually happens that triggers us to stop and just think. Perhaps a
death of a loved one, an accident or a loss of job. Whatever the reason is, I
know what that’s like. For me, I always feel something is missing from my life,
not really understanding or knowing what is missing I shift my attention to my
career and climbing up the corporate ladder. When I turned 30 recently, I
forced myself to take a long hard look at my life. I decided to start seeing a
therapist as I couldn’t answer a few basic questions I asked myself:
- What is my life?
- What have I been doing all this time?
- What should I do with my life?
- What am I so worried about?
I
realised one thing..
It
was time to think what was really important to me. And I realised that I could
do that. Most importantly I could start living now.
Many
of us spend a large portion of our time and energy pursuing relatively unimportant
things. The most common is the extent to which we try to be the best we can at
our jobs – to climb the corporate ladder, to please our bosses, to work in the
best side of town and of course to earn the big bucks.
Most
people would classify me as materialistic and career minded. My therapist once
told me that by adopting a material mentality really means subordinating our
own interests and values for somebody else’s. She didn’t imply that material
mentality is wrong but is being material minded our own free choice and not
what is expected of you?
Obviously
we could be forgiven for thinking material things are really what are
important. After all, we are surrounded by materialistic people everywhere and
not so subtle advertising telling us how great this or that new product is. If
only we had the bigger house with the pool, how much better our lives will be.
Of
course we all need the basic necessities – food and shelter but does the “extras”
really matter that much?
I then
asked myself - If everything material in our lives were stripped away, where
would we be? We live in warmth and comfort and it’s important for us to
consider what and where we’d be if we had none of it. Why? Well…to help us keep
perspective I guess.
I
guess what I’m trying to say is…
Material
possessions don’t necessary bring happiness. It honestly took me about 25 years
to figure that out. The best things in
life are really free- or reasonably priced.
We
are all mortal beings; our existence in this form is finite. The only thing we
can be 100% sure about is that we are all going to die. And at that time, our
material achievements do not matter.
However,
a life that only consists of basic necessities seems plain and dull. I believe
we all need some pleasures and fulfilment in our lives. The challenge is to
balance the pursuit of pleasures with genuine productivity. By rewarding
ourselves with some material pleasures we strengthen our will to continue.
My
therapist suggested that I do an exercise everyday:
When
I wake up in the morning, I should take a moment and ask myself what is really
important. Then have the wisdom and courage to build my life around my
answer.
As
we go through life, at some point we will become aware of what really matters.
We could do without the big house with the pool and designer clothes (don’t get
me wrong – those things are great too!) but what really makes our lives worth
living?
Here’s
my list of what’s really important in my life.
- Health - This is something we all take for
granted until we are sick. Most of us push our bodies and expect them to keep
performing and doing their thing no matter what we put them through. I get
through life somewhat healthy but not feeling energetic or vibrant because I’m
not feeding myself the most nourishing food or getting enough rest and time out
from work. We shouldn’t take our health for granted, because enjoying every
other part of our life hinges on it.
- A sound mind – My husband’s grandfather
suffers from Alzheimer. I know it is difficult for him and his family to see
how his grandfather is trapped in his body with a brain that could no longer
remember his amazing life. If you can think clearly and remember the good
times, then again…you are blessed.
- Love – Whether it’s your husband, family or
friends, just knowing that someone loves you unconditionally just the way you
are can make life worth living.
- Good friends – When life lets you down and
something terrible happens, it is your circle of good friends that can lift you
back up and make life feel more worthwhile. I am blessed to have a handful of
really good friends whom I know I can count on no matter what. You know who you
are peeps :P
Every
day, every moment is precious and unique. What is done is done. What is gone is
gone. We don’t have time for self-pity. If we feel things are wrong or could be
made better, its then up to us to do something about it. Anger, bitterness and
frustration simple waste our precious energy and time. We should take positive
action to resolve our problems or improve our situations.
Problems and worries are
often given a greater importance than they merit. By applying perspective we
make them the appropriate size in the bigger picture. We all have to learn that
life is not, and never can be perfect. But by keeping its difficulties and
imperfections in perspective we can then focus on those areas in which we can
most be most productive.
As
we begin to turn our focus more towards the positive things in our lives, I
think its only natural that we start thinking about our priorities. Most of us
have a lot of balls in the air: work, family, friends, hobbies, personal goals,
school, kids. Regardless, that’s a lot of balls to juggle. At some point, no
matter how good we are – we will drop something.
I
know, I know..we are all superhuman. I like to be delusional sometimes too and
believe that I can handle anything and everything – no matter how much I may
already have going on in my life.
But
since we aren’t superhuman, it becomes increasingly more important that we
figure out which balls we can afford to drop and which balls we can sacrifice
when we must dive to stop the important balls from hitting the ground.
Let’s all just take a
moment to count our blessings and realise that we have so much to be thankful
for. When we know and have what’s really important to us, material then simply
just becomes icing.
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