I'm going to miss being pregnant...

I never thought I'd say this but I do think I am going to miss being pregnant (though I will be very glad to have my body back). There IS something very special about carrying around this little person inside of you plus when else can you have your belly handing out over your pants without feeling self-conscious about it?

Though I won't be missing the heartburn, the waddling, the CONSTANT peeing, the absolutely shattering tiredness, my swollen feet (which looks like giant pork sausages!), the general aches and pains and whatever other ailment I've had during pregnancy...but I will miss my little bubba in there. I love to rub my tummy, talk and sing to him, feel him kick and wiggle around. And I absolutely love when John talks to my belly!

So far, being pregnant has been a really life-altering experience for me. The feeling of life growing inside of me and connecting with this person I've never met is really cool. I know, I know it sounds sappy but I am in a sentimental mood this morning. And sshhh...I have to admit that I do like the special treatment you get when you are pregnant :P

So now, 36 weeks this week with about a month to go until I finally get to meet my baby face to face. I am going to miss being pregnant. I think this whole pregnancy has gone by tooooooooooooooo fast. I take comfort in knowing that they are safe, warm and cozy in me. 

With just a few weeks left to go, I want to make sure I haven't missed anything - perhaps some prenatal bonding ritual that will later make me wonder with regret, "Oh damn, why didn't we do that?" This will most likely be my only pregnancy so no chance for do-overs later.  

I feel like I should be doing more? Should we be playing bubba classical music? Should I be talking to them more? Should I be doing some positive visualisation, transferring my good vibes onto him? I have also been thinking about lullabies which I will sing to him and have been singing to him now.

Just a few weeks ago, a friend told me that while packing up her baby's clothes she got really sad, mourning over the fact that those tiny infant days were over now. I guess it all goes by really fast doesn't it? Six months from now, I'll probably be sad that my baby's newborn stage is over. Five years down the road, I'll be crying about them starting kindergarten. Maybe I feel like as long as he's in my belly I can almost stop time, keep him close and safe and hold on to him forever.

35 weeks

 

 

Surprise..I'm Pregnant!

I guess I'm good at keeping secrets. I'm PREGNANT! Just yesterday I went for my 18-20 weeks scan and everything is looking good with bubba. Call me suspicious or paranoid but I'm one of those people who doesn't always think things will go according to plan. And I'm not taking being pregnant for granted.

What are we having? Its a boy!!!

Here's a picture of me at 19 weeks++. It took me a while to be brave enough to put up a picture or even announce it to my friends. I guess also being pregnant is not exactly "flattering".

   

Being pregnant also explain my occassionall flakiness in my blog posting over the last couple of months. I get so tired sometimes and all I want to do is go to bed. In general, my symptoms have been more than mild. s a picture of me at 19 weeks++.

Nutrition, organic food and purity continues to be at the forefront of my mind. In fact it should be more important than ever. In the first few weeks of pregnancy where my symptoms were the worst, I regret to say that I was horrible when it came to providing proper, healthy nutrition to my growing baby. But now that Im feeling better..it should be my top priority.
 

Goalless living?

One of the questions I have been asking myself recently is “What happens if we deliberately live without any goals?”

All the books I’ve read in the past and just about every other self-help book assumes that goals are essential to success. But is this true?

We tend to think that living without goals would result in laying on a couch in front of the tv all day with a six-pack of beer (or whatever your own particular form of goofing off is!) But I suspect that this is actually the result of negative goals, rather than no goals at all. A negative goal would be something like “I don’t want to do the housework”, “I don’t want write that report”, or “I don’t want to do any work”. 

The reason I have been asking that question is that I am conscious that many major positive changes in my life have come about without my having formed any definite goals about the changes. It’s been far more a case of acting on opportunity out of a deeper feeling that I am taking the right action for me.

Are goals/needs really just about a search for recognition, authenticity, conformity, nonconformity, acceptance?

Are ‘goals’ and ‘needs’ just interchangeable terms for a search to be accepted in whatever group we seek to be accepted into – or to be accepted for who we are in our individuality if there is no group identification? Even primary needs – food, shelter, warmth, cool, etc are a search to be accepted into the group that have these needs.

Maybe it's not the goal that’s the problem, but more likely an individuals reasoning behind them. Certain end results/goals will never lead to happiness in my opinion. For me, the hardest part has always been discovering what I want. Maybe it seems simple for some people and I might argue that those same people would answer “I want more $$”, “I want to move up the ladder” etc. But I think those are superficial things because what they REALLY want is whatever FEELING they believe those “things” will give them, NOT the thing things themselves ~ kind of like Fool’s Gold, if you will.

I think the reason most people are unhappy is because they are short-sighted about what they really want. You have to ask yourself the tough questions and take the required time to get to know yourself. I believe we all basically want the same things: comfort, freedom, love, acceptance and to make a contribution to this world. I believe seeking $$$ is what we’ve all been essentially “programmed” to do in order to keeps us all as working cogs in someone else’s machine. But where does it lead? I believe it leads to a false-happy; one where you’re never satisfied because you are reaching for the wrong things. This is the constant struggle we are all in that serves someone else’s purpose, not ours.

Wholehearted Living

I can't remember who it was - but a few years ago someone sent me a spam email about learning to never say "yes" unless you could say it wholeheartedly.

Whoever that was, thank you. I have been thinking of the logic of that for a few days now and I just can't agree enough on it.

The context was how easy it is for our lives to fill up with responsibilities that we have taken on more or less reluctantly. When someone asks us to do something, it is often difficult to say "no". So we end up saying "yes" against our better judgement. And one of the reasons why it is so easy to say "yes" is because we often don't have a clear and easy way to tell what our better judgement is. The other party will often come up with highly persuasive reasons which make us feel that we will be uncaring or ungrateful or illogical or mean or reckless or whatever if we don't agree with them. And since we don't want them to feel any one these things we say "yes" reluctantly  - and regret it later.

By having a clear rule that we only say "yes" when we say it wholeheartedly we can cut through all the guilt and manipulation and find the only thing that really matters - our own knowledge of what is right for us.

I haven't use this method a lot but I have started and found it invaluable. So for an example the other day, a friend rang me up and asked me if I wanted to join a rally that met every month. I really didn't want to but had the feeling that I ought to do it and that I'd be letting my friend down if I didn't. As I wavered on the brink of accepting (and regretting it) I suddenly found myself saying "Sorry but no. If I would have committed to you today I would only be lying to you as honestly I don't feel comfortable with this." To my surprise, my frien though obviously disappointed, accepted my reason.

Now when faced with any decision, I always ask myself "Could I do this wholeheartedly?" And if the answer is "no", I don't do it.

So the question acts as a very good way of filtering our busy work, displacement activites and general wheel-spinning. And it greatly increases the commitment that I bring to my real work actions and the enjoyment that I get from my leisure and personal activities. 

So what could I do wholeheartedly right now? Ah yes, kiss my gorgeous husband good night and then go to bed!

 

Reflexology?

Heard wonders about reflexology so I decided to have a go for one session yesterday. If you are wondering what is reflexology – reflexology is a natural healing art, based on the principle that stimulating reflex points on the feet, hands or ears can have a beneficial effect on other parts of the body. By applying technique a reflexologist can break up patterns of stress in other parts of the body.

Did a quick research on Google and found this –

“Pressure applied to the feet generates a signal through the peripheral nervous system. From there it enters the central nervous system where it is processed adjustments in fuel and oxygen. Finally a response is fashioned that is sent onto the motor system. This message is feel forward to adjust the body’s tone or overall tension level. If applied property the tone will reset itself to a lower operating tempo. A lower operating tempo means a lessening of stress and less wear and tear on the body’s systems.”

“The purpose of the nerves is to carry messages and instruct the body. When the nerves improve that instructs the body, the instruction has to improve, the body has to improve. Every nerve in the body begins and ends in the hands and feet. By applying this specialised exercise pressure on the foot, the outcome is improved instruction to each and every part of the body, resulting in a re-educating, re-patterning, and re-conditioning of the nerve instruction through the reflex/neutral electrical system of the body.”

“The purpose of the blood is to transport nutrition, glucose and oxygen to all parts of the body. The blood travels approximately 168,000 miles per day to supply about 60 trillion cells in the body. The heart pumps about 100,000 times per day. It is in the hands and feet that blood transfers from arteries to veins to return back to the heart. This is the reason why the feet must be flexible and dexterous. Stress, which can be responsible for 80% to 90% of ailments, can act like a tourniquet, wrapping around the body, squeezing so tightly that it causes an impediment of blood flow which results in an ischemic condition. Since the capillaries feed the functioning part of the body, we are only as healthy as out capillaries. Again, by using this specific, highly specialised relaxation technique, reflexology is able to relax a specific area of the body enough to improve the blood supply to that area. This will then allow improved transportation of the nutrition, glucose and oxygen which that area of the body desperately needs to function or to regulate.”

“It is essential to remember that we are not only what we eat, we are what we supply to our cells and then assimilate. The purpose of the lymphatic system is to cleanse and purify the bloody and lubricate the muscles. A healthy system is a cleansed system; congestion is a disease. The absence of balance in the body is disease. The lymphatic system cannot cleanse or purify very well if it is weak, sick or congested. A healthy person body will rid itself of at least 8 pounds or toxic waste per day through the four channels of elimination – kidneys, bowels, skin and breath. The lymph flows in one direction only, towards the heart; also every lymphatic vessel begins and ends in the hands and feet. By using reflexology, we are persuading the body to correct, strengthen and reinforce itself.”

The most common form is foot reflexology which I tried yesterday where the foot reflexologist applied pressure to specific points on my foot.

Reflexology sessions generally last from 30 minutes to an hour. The session I had yesterday lasted about 40 minutes and it is a clothed session with only the removal of my shoes and stockings.

It didn’t hurt for me which is good. I understand that too much pressure can actually be harmful and could lead to surgery. I guess personal preference is something you should communicate with your reflexologist.

I did feel relaxed while in the session. Not so sure how relaxed I felt after. Apparently how long that relaxation lasts is a good indicator of the effectiveness of the session.

Reflexology is safe for everyone and it’s recommended to be used throughout a lifetime. Because reflexology works to put the body in a state of well-being, it is beneficial to every system in the body.

Research has found that not only is it beneficial as a tool for relaxation and stress relied, it is also an effective tool for improving circulation; relieving pain, detoxification, recovering from surgery and as an immune and nervous system stimulator. But I guess in general terms; the benefits of reflexology have to do with the reduction of stress. I am very doubtful that reflexology can benefit certain conditions and diseases.

The website I was reading advised the following “ The goals of reflexology are to re-educate, re-pattern and re-condition the nerves through the neural/electrical system of the body. This will cause four reactions:

• To relax a particular area of the body through a highly specialised specific relaxation technique
• To improve nerve, blood and lymphatic supply
• To persuade the body to biologically correct itself
• To allow the body to reach homeostasis
• The blood circulation system will be boosted
• It can help prevent and cure many symptoms such as headache, stress, asthma, constipation, sinusitis and migraine
• It can relieve pain and stiffness caused by too much exercising or using muscles for too long

In a society that relies on chemically laden prescription drugs to cure the sick, reflexology is providing success stories worth examining.

Reflexology has made its mark in the world of alternative therapies because apparently it works. I have my doubt but I am trying to hopefully prove me wrong. Regardless, reflexology should only act as a compliment to standard medical care. It should not be construed as medical advice. It should not be a replacement to medical help. Please remember that reflexology is not a miracle cure and not everyone will respond in the same way.

Found this on the Internet –

• The massage must be done with accuracy to avoid wrong reflection which will cause muscle infection
• One should not receive massage until at least one hour after meal
• One should hydrate as much as possible before coming to a session
• After receiving massage, one is required to drink water to eliminate toxin and lactic acids developed during the massage process
• Pregnant women, menstruating women and who are bleeding internally and externally are not allowed to receive foot reflexology massage
• Both masseur and clients are prohibited from washing hair, hands, feet or taking a bath within one hour of foot reflexology massage in order to prevent the body’s elements from the effect of coldness
• Foot reflexology massage can be given every day but the total duration of both feet in a day should not exceed 45 minutes. However, only 10 minutes is allowed for patients who used to suffer from heart attack.

The reflexologist I tried with yesterday I believe was not experienced, so I will be on a hunt again to look for a better one. I might even try to learn the techniques for myself. I guess having the knowledge to treat myself and my family will be one of the smartest things I can do – obviously assuming that it works to begin with.

I guess I am quite practical. I do however believe in faith and healing. I don’t believe in fairies or the Easter Bunny. I personally would like to open to anything that can improve my health.

 

 

 

Valentine Dinner - Capital Grill @ Circular Quay

My husband surprised me *wink* *wink* with dinner reservations to Capital Grill in Circular Quay. I was so excited to finally get back there. He told me days before that he made reservations but only revealed where the night before.

I didn't really dress up for the occassion and basically wore what I worn to work. The restaurant ambiance and decor is beautiful and great views. Romatic and intimate atmosphere upstairs where we dined.

When we arrived I was quite surprised that they were only offereing special Valentine Day menu. Personally I think restaurants should call these "special menus" "let's charge you twice as much for our food because it's a hallmark holiday". Obviously you can hear my frustrating building up as I write this review.

All the meals were good, but not amazing especially considering we spent close to $200 without any wine.

We started with entree. I had Sydney Rock Oysters and John had the Crisp Skin Pork Belly, Celeriac Purree with Apple Cider. I am a big fan of oysters so I devoured all of them in a second. I think the secret to really enjoying oysters is getting the technique of piercing them with your teeth to release the briny flavour and then bringing them forward in the mouth with your tounge so that you can swallow smoothly in one go. That's how I do it.

 

For main, I had Roasted Organic Chicken with Baby Turnips, Dutch Carrots and Eshallots which I really enjoyed. While the meat was very tender, I found that the dish was quite plain and the skin was chewy, not crispy.

John as usual had his slab of meat - Tenderloin Pasture Fed Reverina with Potato Gratin and Sauteed Mushrooms. This was no ordinary steak - I had a bite and it was cooked to perfection - it was just so tasty! We also ordered Steamed Vegetables as a side.  

We were full by the time our dessert was served. I had the biggest portion of Chocolate Mousse every known to mankind. We finished it all regardless of our full stomach.

Wait staff were very friendly and helpful. The food was very presented and tasty. We also enjoyed the glasses of Champagne each.  

I have to say it was a really nice and relaxing Valentine's Day meal. We didn't have to pay too much or fight the crowds and best of all, we took our time eating our meal and enjoyed each other's company in the comfort of a beautiful, classy setting.  

Appetizer, main course, side dishes, desert and a giant monkey named Opa. Everything was fantastic! Thank you baby!
 

After the dinner, we took a cab home and got home to do our own errands. You can probably guess how long we've been maried. 

Don't Get Caught In The Activity Trap

I was reading an article earlier about the difference between action and activity and how most of us fall into the activity trap.

Action is what achieves our goals, moves our business and personal lives forward, produces what we wnat out of life and actually gets the job done. It is very rewarding but is also very likely to be difficult and challending.

Activity is all the things we fill our lives with in order to avoid taking actions. Strangely enough activity often looks better than action to people around us and even to ourselves. 

Here are some points to know if you have fallen into the activity trap:

• You never have time to think;
• You work through lunch and don't have a definite finish time in the evening;
• You don't have time for exercise;
• You don't have time dor a personal life;
• You never have time to do the things you really want to do and
• You are constantly doing things which anyone else could do.

Trip to Watsons Bay

So for my first day off from work I decided to treat myself to a nice day out with my good friend Joseph.  We took a drive down to Watsons Bay. 

Watsons Bay is located in the eastern suburb of Sydney. Watsons Bay sits on the end of the South Head peninsula and takes its name from the sheltered bay and anchorage on its western side, in Port Jackson. It proides view across the harbour to the Sydney Harbour Bridge, Manly at North Head and the Pacific Ocean. 

 

We walked through Lady Bay Beach which is actually one the few nude beaches in Sydney. Its a pity the old men pervs spoil it for any women who pop down there who just want to relax themselves...

Perverted, gross, sick..there are many adjectives that some people use for clothes optional beach and the people that frequent them. But the fact is, the majority of people that fo to them are just normal people that have discovered the enjoyment of not worrying about clothes at the beach. I havent dont it before but I can imagine it will be a freeing feeling. And hey, at least it gives a great all over tan.

Apparently in Europe, nude beaches are more the norm than clothing only beaches. Clothes optional means exactly that. Its not the law that you remove all your clothes, but you might stick out a bit as an oddity if you sit there covered up when all around you are butt naked. :P

Let's Be (More) Progressive on Tax

Some argue that tax is too punitive in Australia, but given the widening rich-poor gap, perhaps its time to ask whether its in need of an update.

Last week the Institute of Public Affair’s John Roskam pointed out that 3 percent of people who file tax returns account for 30 percent of all income tax — it’s actually a bit lower (27 percent) when we look at it as a proportion of all people who pay any tax because many people file a return with nothing to pay. Given such a heavy tax burden on so few people Roskam asked why people like Bernie Fraser would want to make our taxes even more progressive.

 

Well, let’s get some perspective on why we have progressive taxation in the first place. The top 3 percent that Roskam referred to have an average salary of $300k. The other 97 percent of the population averages just $50k per year. If we didn’t take the progressive approach, then to achieve the same revenue we’d all have to be taxed at 21 percent of income. That would give the top 3 percent an extra $51,000 in their pockets (a 27 percent increase), but reduce incomes of the lowest 16 percent by $3,102 to just $15,280.

So, what if we took the opposite approach and taxed the top 3 percent even more? Raising their average tax from 38 percent to 43 percent that would create an extra $4.2 billion in the tax pool. That’s enough money to eradicate all income tax for anyone earning up to $33,000. Our richest  270,000 taxpayers would take an 8 percent cut in take home earnings, but 2.6 million people will see their incomes rise, on average, by 7 percent. The rich will spend slightly less inflating house prices and heading off on overseas holidays, the poorest 30 percent of workers will earn more, providing an incentive for others to move from the dole to paying jobs.

To me, what’s alarming about the IPA’s observation that 3 people out of 100 people pay 30 percent of all tax paid is not that those people are paying too much. That’s just a consequence of an income distribution skewed so heavily to top-earners. What’s alarming is that Australia, like most developed countries, has a widening rich poor gap. And if the market can’t close that gap of its own accord, the government’s tax policy has to step in.

Source: BT Talk